How to Deal with Peer and Social Pressure While Preparing for

In conversation with Careers360, Mr Ramesh Batlish has shared his view on how to deal with Peer and Social pressure while preparing for competitive exam. Nowadays, many students prepare for various competitive exams to accomplish their academic aspirations. Competitive exams like JEE, NEET, CAT, MAT, GATE, Olympiads3, etc demand dedicated and elongated preparation, as the competition is extreme, and the success ratio is less. So, it’s obvious that students will face extreme pressure related to preparation, performance, and competition. Beyond this, students also face an environment of toxic competition and become victims of stress, tension, anxiety & depression, sometimes even leading to taking the most extreme steps.

Another pressure that the students experience is peer pressure.

‘Peers’ are people belonging to the same age group or situation that a person is in. People face certain direct and indirect pressures or influences because of their peers to conform to the expectations and standards of others. Such an influence that a person feels because of peers, to look or behave in their way, to ensure acceptance and respect, is termed ‘Peer Pressure.’ Peer pressures may be positive or negative, making or breaking someone. It’s always recommended to embrace positive peer pressure and avoid negative peer pressure. Here are some simple tips on how students can deal with peer and social pressure while preparing for competitive exams.

Recognize the Source of Peer Pressure

If the source of any problem is known, it can be mitigated easily. So, students and parents should first determine the source of pressure, whether it is parents, family, relatives, society, friends, teachers, institutes, social media, or anything else. Consistent discussion about scores, performance, study schedules, bullying, comparison, etc. can instigate external pressure upon the students. Awareness about the sources triggering emotions and distancing from them may help in hindering the additional pressure to come.

Choose the Right Institute

Many institutes pressurize the students very much for speed, performance, etc. Also, their compact class schedules, pressure-packed hostels, and toxic competition among students make many students feel disillusioned and become victims of stress, tension, anxiety, depression, etc. So, before joining any coaching institute, students should research properly about the institute that provides a stress-free environment so that they can get enough time for self-study, personal work, hobbies, and extra-curricular activities. This will help them stay calm & stress-free, so that they can focus on their studies with happy and relaxed minds.

Choose the Right Peers

A negative peer can distract a person, whereas a positive peer can construct a person. So, it is always recommended to have a good company that will understand, resolve queries, and guide you on the right path. There is a great impact of a positive peer; even a distracted person can come back on the right track. It is often said that we or our behaviour and personality will be average of the five persons we meet the most. Students should have a friend who will stand with them, advise them properly, and help them in difficult times.

Self-analysis and self-esteem

In the journey of competitive exams, self-analysis is of high priority. Students should know themselves, their capabilities, endurance, etc., and work accordingly. They shouldn’t compare their capabilities, performance, or study schedule with others, as everyone has different potential and priorities. They should work as per their strengths and try to minimize their weaknesses. They should think about their priorities and shouldn’t compare themselves with anyone in some other field. Their comparison and competition are with themselves only.

Students should have the self-esteem that they are preparing for the best, and they will be at a very high level after clearing the exam. They should imagine or visualize their dream and work consistently to achieve that. They should have belief in their dream, potential, study schedule, performance, etc., and shouldn’t be affected by others' words, actions, or performances.

Use of moral compass

Students preparing for competitive exams feel some pressure related to studies, exams, performance, etc., and often things don’t work as per expectations. In these situations, they should keep patience and think that ups and downs are parts of life; these are common in the journey. During these times, they shouldn’t get deviated, demoralized, or start some bad habits. They should analyze what is right or wrong and stay firm with what is right.

There may be situations when peers may persuade students to adopt some malfunctions, such as consuming narcotics, bunking classes, cheating, stealing, or doing some vandalizing or unlawful activities, but they should think about the consequences before adopting others’ requests or insisting. They should respect themselves, talk openly about their feelings, and take firm steps. They shouldn’t come under anyone’s pressure or be emotional, and instead, they should think with mind and counter others’ taunts and challenges. Friendship should be based on acceptance of some conditions. If others still insist, they should clearly SAY NO and walk away from the situation if needed. Sometimes rejecting or going against tradition is also good. They shouldn’t make any bad decisions for anyone; they should understand that friends would come and go, but they won’t. They should take ownership, as they are responsible for their actions.

Making a Healthy Study Environment

In the journey of competitive exams, the environment plays a crucial role. Its impacts can cause the construction or destruction of someone's life and career. So, students should create a supportive study environment with like-minded peers where there is learning, mutual understanding, and collaboration instead of jealousy and toxic competition. If forming a suitable study group is not possible, then they should make their isolated study plan devoid of distractions and pressures.

They should also take care of the society they live in. If society is negative and always busy criticizing, bullying, or comparing, then it’s better to shift, stay in privacy, or join some library or study centre. Also, they shouldn’t listen to others or come in the words of those who demotivate them or put additional pressure.

Maintaining a Balanced Life

Preparing for competitive exams demands rigorous commitment and hard work, but that shouldn’t be at the cost of life. Many students come under pressure by seeing others’ schedules, performances, or speed and start following hectic schedules by sacrificing their sleep, hobbies, health, family, or personal lives. They should understand that everyone’s potential, priorities, & strategies are different and prepare accordingly. They should take care of themselves, take breaks between study hours, relax, get ample sleep, have a proper diet, follow their hobbies, do some physical exercise, and give time to their families. If their health deteriorates, then their preparation will be hampered. So, they shouldn’t do anything at the cost of their personal life or health.

Practicing Self-Compassion

In the quest for success, students may sometimes experience failures, in the main exam or mock tests, or their peers’ performance is better than theirs, which may lead to self-doubt in them. But they should understand that falling is not failing. They should analyse their potential, strengths, & weaknesses and make a proper study plan accordingly. Failure once or scoring less in mock tests doesn’t mean someone has fewer capabilities. They shouldn’t take excessive performance pressure and take care of themselves and their physical and mental health. They should motivate themselves and do meditation to keep themselves calm and away from undue pressure.

Moving Out of the Rat Race

Students should remember that in a competitive exam, the journey and learning matter more than the competition. Here, the main objective should be clearing the exam, not how to clear it. Everyone’s speed, accuracy, schedule, strategy, etc. will be different. There are many websites and social media that create excessive pressure on students through their various ‘exam-race’ programs, showing unnecessary scores, ranks, etc. instead of showing the right analysis of their performance. So, it’s better to stay away from such websites and focus on preparation according to their strengths and weaknesses.

Consulting and Seeking Advice

In the journey, there may be situations where a student is not able to understand or decide what’s going on or what to do. There may be failures, family pressures, financial crises, or some peer pressure. In such a situation, they shouldn’t get panicked and keep calm. They should consult a trustworthy adult, communicate everything they are going through, and seek advice. They may consult with any of their parents, siblings, family members, teachers, mentors, or seniors who can understand their situations, maintain secrecy, and guide them properly. Teachers and mentors can also play special roles through counselling, motivational sessions, and encouragement.

Thus, pressure and peer pressure come parallelly in the journey of competitive exams, and dealing with them is crucial as well as critical, but not indomitable. By recognising the source, analysing one’s potential, priorities, reasons, strengths & weaknesses, maintaining a positive & supportive peer group, making a healthy study plan, being stubborn at some point, or seeking advice from adults, the peer pressure can be mitigated. Students should understand that their life, career, health, family, and preparation are more important to them. Due to peer pressure, if they take a wrong step, which will hamper all these, and there is no scope to come back. Life is by choice, not by chance. Their lives will depend upon the decisions they make, and they should make judicious decisions.